carving pumpkins

tonight was the night....
many eager hands were ready to help
and a few not so eager hands
and now our pumpkins are ready for Halloween.

smencils...

included in our order from the previous post were these amazing pencils and colored pencils. They are made from recycled newsprint and as the name suggests they are scented....the scents are amazing. I am so craving root beer right now. The red capped ones are holiday scents, candy cane, gingerbread, sugar cookie to name a few. Some of the other scents are cotton candy, bubblegum, grape, orange, tropical berry. Yahaira wondered if we could eat them. :) So they have been coloring and drawing with these pencils for the better of the afternoon, of course there has been a lot of smelling, loved their excitement when they discovered that not only does the pencil smell good, but once you write on paper the smell continues. Here is the website so you can check it out:
www.stubbypencilstudio.com

Happy mail day!

today this order arrived from Stubby Pencil Studio.
it's an earth friendly art and craft supply store. Their products are made from soy, or recycled newsprint.
once I opened the box I was thrilled to discover their packaging consisted of tissue paper, not peanuts, or plastic or cardboard, not a twist tie in site. Love that! (I have found that as I look for gifts these days my decision is often based completely on how much packaging there is. I have reached my end point with all the cardboard, plastic and twist ties included with almost all toys these days. So what was in that box, a wonderful mix of art goodness, and a these two reusable tote bags. We have been doing our part in using reusable tote bags instead of plastic bags. Of course 9 times out of 10 I am returning to my van to get those darn bags since I never seem to be able to remember to bring them in with me. The purple bag was a free gift with my order, totally loving that!

sometimes waiting

is worth it when all is said and done.
I ordered these dresses almost a year ago.
At the same time I ordered a birthday dress. It had an adorable cupcake with the age appliqued on the front.
These I purchased after receiving the adorable snowman dress. I had asked if we could get the birthday and mermaid dress closer to May, which would be in time with Yahaira's birthday. So in march I sent updated measurements and waited, and waited. We did get the birthday dress in time for Yahaira's birthday, except I requested a 3 rather than a 4 so needless to say she didn't wear that adorable creation. Rosie did a few months later. sigh. Due to one thing or another, weather, illnesses and a whole host of other reasons the mermaid dress and another dress I had ordered never arrived. Each time I emailed her there seemed to be one more delay and by August I had resigned myself that i simply wouldn't be receiving the remaining two dresses. I sent one more email inquiring on the dresses and received a response with the offer to make a more winter dress, and what style would I like. We agreed on a Peanuts theme and the original Mermaid dress. and then nothing. not a word. Two weeks ago I emailed one last time, once again I was give a rather long explanation as to the delays, and a promise they would go in the mail that weekend. As one week passed and we started a new week I just simply wrote it up as lesson learned. I did try to reason how she could have had such excellent service at the beginning only to have it unravel for later orders. Today a package arrived and inside were these simply beautiful dresses. I guess it was worth the wait, not so sure I would want to wait that long again...but all in all they arrived, and the girls were thrilled with them. Not thrilled enough to want to try them on.. :)

Sunday

was a big day for her.
The three year olds received their bibles during church.
We had been talking about it for days, preparing her for it.
She was in a word excited.
We sat in the front, waaaaaaaaaaaayyyy in the front (third pew from the front to be exact)
1. so I could see
2. so I could capture this moment with my camera
I was able to see, but as you can see my photography left much to be desired.

sometimes...

she pauses long enough for me to snap a picture.

It doesn't get much better than this

this is the scene in my kitchen at 8:57 pm.
bread just out of the oven and a mug of home made hot chocolate.
with marshmallows of course.
It's raining outside with a blustery wind, the temp has dropped in a oh so typical October way.
Rain,wind and cold, gotta love that.
Inside my house is toasty warm, (and no I haven't turned the furnace on yet, it's my personal goal to make it to November)
the smell of just baked bread has filled every nook and cranny...bonus the oven is warming my house :)
I'm sipping my hot chocolate as I type, enjoying my marshmallows which if you look close you will recognize as lucky charm marshmallows....how cool is that? No, I didn't pick them out of a box of lucky charm cereal...these I purchased at Cereality last weekend.
Totally loving the colorful marshmallows that are floating in my hot chocolate, is just makes me happy.
all my little people are sleeping...
ahhhh it just doesn't get any better than this.

Did I know?

Did I know when I said yes to that phone call 4 years ago today, how much my life was going to change? of course not.

I can count on one hand the moments that altered my life in a big way...the birth of my children, my mom's death, getting married. Big moments that shaped and formed my life and me. But that phone call wasn't a big moment, just an ordinary occurrence, perhaps the most un-ordinary thing about it was simply that it happened in the middle of the day rather than the middle of the night.

From that phone call I knew that we were receiving two children a 3 year old and a baby. The baby was diagnosed with Shaken Baby Syndrome and was being released from the hospital that day. I may have had a moments pause as I wondered just what shaken baby syndrome was but quickly moved onto the preparations necessary to make room for two more. I can safely say today that within days we were immersed in what life with a shaken baby entailed, our education could only be described as a crash course.

When they arrived later in the afternoon, my first impression of Anthony was this adorable little boy with the biggest, brownest eyes. Eyes that weren't currently filled with fear. My first glimpse of how our lives were about to change came as I unbundled Yahaira, she opened her eyes and my heart fell as I saw the first of many physical signs of her injuries, those beautiful brown eyes were turned in, giving her a cross eyed look. I wondered if she could even focus on me and just what she was able to see. Later the worry for her vision would increase, as I discovered more and more about shaken baby, blindness was a common occurrence, that became a fear when you added the fact that it took months for her eyes to heal and straighten. As I lifted her out of her car seat I saw her head for the first time, shaved and bandaged,misshaped and frightening. I recall looking at Betty and saying "what have I agreed to?" "how am I going to do this?" She blustered around Yahaira throwing out phrases that would become comments we heard frequently from many, during those early months. "How could this have happened?" "Who would do this?" "She's just a baby, how?" Then she looked at me and said "you can do this" my shocked look must have caused her to add "she needs you" Today I might simply add I needed her too.

Those early days, weeks, months perhaps that first year became a blur. Balancing little children with issues (by that time we had determined that Anthony too had concerns, not in a physical way but certainly in just as important ways) with our older kids, working full time, and all the rest of life stuff was perhaps a comedy in balance at best. It seemed that each week we would discover something new that had to be addressed with Yahaira. Her first night with us I was Googling Shaken Baby Syndrome, and wishing I hadn't since what I was reading was even more frightening than I could imagine. I had also spoke to the NICU at St. Marys in Rochester, not once but twice. The single sheet of discharge directions which encompassed a paragraph wasn't cutting it when it came time to clean her surgical sites. A very kind and calm nurse patiently walked me thru what needed to be done and then he calmly answered every question I could think of and even a few I hadn't thought of all the while assuring me I wouldn't kill her by my stupidity. I became determined to learn as much as I could about Shaken Baby. We were fortunate to be able to get into place quickly the early intervention program that would be so instrumental in Yahaira's recovery. When she was released the only thing the doctors knew as fact was she had brain damage. How it would present itself was at that time unknown. That first year certainly added weight to that diagnosis as her development showed delay after delay. Setback after setback. Combined with the physical delays were medical issues... this child was constantly sick. We spent so much time at clinic and ER that I wondered if we shouldn't just invite the staff to Thanksgiving dinner, they felt like family. Many late nights would be spent walking or rocking her. Kevin often jokes that Yahaira broke the record on the number of times he was puked on in a night. Him showering at 2am became common. It was often during that late night time as I rocked her,my conversations would turn towards God, this is when I dumped all the worry, the fear, the anger, this is when I tried to make sense of this situation. The worry of would she recover, and if so what would her quality of life be like. The anger that this child had not deserved what had been done to her, and yet she would carry with her thru the rest of her life the affects of those injuries. God taught me a lot during this time thru her, strength...it seemed when either of our strength wavered God sent someone to help us, determination, you could see it in her eyes, she simply never gave up, so how could we? and trust, perhaps the hardest thing to do and yet here we are 4 years later and to look at her today you wouldn't even notice the scars which is about all she carries. She tested out of the early childhood program by age two, she continues to test at her age or above how cool is that? To those who first meet her she appears normal. Never did I think Normal would be such an amazing word.

Anthony too has overcome much, he no longer receives services for his delays. He is simply a busy, happy 1st grader whose only concern is whether he is going to be able to play outside when school is done. Even tho he was 3 when he arrived, we have witnessed so many firsts in his life, from playing in the snow to learning to ride bike, First day of school, to learning to tie his shoes, and all those wonderfully ordinary days that filled that in between time.

So if you have followed this blog you know there is another little wonder that makes up this family group...she didn't arrive until the following July. Her arrival into our home was the most unexpected gift, in that she was simply ordinary, no issues, no concerns, just a little bundle of newborn wonder that every person in our family immediately fell in love with.

So today we mark the four year milestone since that phone call. To try to capture how our lives have changed seems impossible. When they first came, adoption wasn't even a word in our vocabulary. Neither were trials, lawyers, mediation or depositions. It is still rather weird to me that I can actually say I have experienced each of those things and more. We lived with fear that they could simply leave. That at this court proceeding or that hearing it could be decided that it would be in their best interest to be placed with family. So often I was asked "how do you do it? Knowing they could leave" my answer "How can we not? care for them, love them it is the least of what they deserve" as for the leaving part, I put that with God, knowing he had brought them to us and if they left, God would get us thru it. Perhaps having that fear in the background made the experience that much more treasured, we certainly learned to live in the moment, to appreciate the little and ordinary.

One year ago we moved to a place where we knew they wouldn't be leaving, that we would be the ones adopting them. I did foolishly believe that the adoption would be completed in at most a few months time. Once again I have learned that court time and my time are polar opposites. We are closer to the adoption but I hesitate to say it will be soon. I find that it is ok, God has given us the most unexpected gift when these little people came into our lives. Daily he reminds me of how amazing my life is. We have already had the most amazing 4 years with these little people. So the formality of having it finalized in the courts is at this point in time more necessary for the state and the legal side of things in our hearts they are already a part of our family.

playing in the leaves

Linda was kind enough to let us use her leaf pile for part of our photo shoot,
naturally afterwards the kids wanted to play in the leaves....
so much laughter and giggles...they even thought it was fun to help put the leaves into bags.
Our trees aren't big enough to generate enough leaves to rake, so it was rather fun to help out Linda
and Larry. It isn't work when you want to do it.

Christmas card photo shoot

that annual ordeal that happens this time of year.
as you can see all victims were so eager to partake in this experience.
some more than others :)
I think I got 1 picture, yes 1. I took 20.
and so it is with relief that I say we are done for this year.

Hot Chocolate mix

Last night, Rosie and I mixed up a batch of hot chocolate mix. Kelly shared her recipe with us, thanks Kelly!
After all the mixing required it seemed only fitting to make a mug of hot chocolate...
yummmmm! was Rosie's response.

cereality

a restaurant that cells cereal?
how about 15+ types of cereal that you can mix and match to create your own special blend?
oh! did I mention the toppings? oodles and oodles of food wonder to add to your cereal blend.
Sound good?
It certainly did to the resident 3 year old.
Her blend?
lucky charms, cheerios, Oreo cookie crumbs and choc. chips.
aaaahhhh breakfast goodness!
Discovered this restaurant while watching a program on the food network.
So I checked out there website and was amazed to discover that they had a location in Mankato.
Saturday we checked it out. I tried the pumpkin spice oatmeal...delicious!
Rosie and Cassandra had a blast mixing their special blends....and eating it of course.
here is the link:
www.cereality.com

Guess what he is signing?

Yes, it is.
No really this time it's official...
seriously!
for real.
that would be one of 15 copies that required our official names and social security numbers.
Today it would be safe to say that I officially broke in my new/old name :)
What's next?
in a perfect world an adoption. (ok forgive me but the over the moon excitement isn't happening just yet,perhaps 4 years of this is simply putting it on pause.) (yes 4 years, Monday marks the date they arrived, the day that forever changed our lives.)
Next up, all those documents make their way to the Commisioner of Human Services who has 15 business days to approve or not approve the adoption. Providing everything is in order, no spelling errors and such the state will approve the adoption and return it to the county who will then schedule a day in court. Yes a day before a judge, and this time I'm simply positive that this is one day in court I will be excited to attend.
whew!
Trying to be calm, trying to not get caught up with worry of what else could cause a pause in this journey...
I've wondered how I would react when we faced this day, and I realize that perhaps one can never really know until that day is upon you. My heart is racing, and there seems to be a silly grin on my face.
unexpectedly I find there is a calmness (my heart knows this was meant to be) mixed in with excitment(my brain is just starting to accept it is happening)...
so ready to complete this part of the journey..
so very ready to take the first steps on the next part of our journey.

autumn walk

Rosie and I went for a walk yesterday...
she was intent on collecting leaves...which there were plenty for her to pick from.
she also loved walking in the leaves over and over and over again.
yes she is in her pj's she had spent the better part of the weekend, sick with a fever.
So when we ventured out I simply didn't have the energy to change her and she of course didn't mind one bit since she would live in her pj's.

hair cut

apparently the little wonder thought she needed a trim....
sigh,
apparently she doesn't go with the theory of less is more.
double sigh.

so not sure I'm going to survive her being three.

my two humpty dumpty's

Rosie has been reciting this rhyme for weeks. Ever since
she learned it at preschool. So imagine her excitement when she
saw this life size Humpty Dumpty.