It is done!

Cassandra's quilt that is. Insert happy dance, high fives, and a general all around relief that the much dreaded task is now complete. I have been avoiding, blocking, purposely forgetting, really almost anything in my power I have done in order to not have to sew this quilt. A note one should always consider the long term ramifications when one begins a project for their first born child. Many years ago (15years to be exact) as I was sorting thru the kids baby clothes, struggling with the fact that I couldn't possibly keep everything and yet having a very difficult time deciding what to keep and what to give away. I came up with the brilliant idea I could keep most of the clothes, well actually pieces of most of their outfits and sew them into a quilt. My goal would be to give it to them when they graduated from high school, a quilt to take with them to college it would have bits and pieces of their childhood, full of memories and stories...stitched with love. ok, ok...let's stop right there...the thought was great, but in reality, I don't know what possessed me to think I could sew, (I can't, no training, no skill, no basic anything when it comes to putting needle to material) So when it was a few months before Beckie's graduation I realized I should get going on her quilt. It was painful, physically and mentally...I created new words in my quest to finish this quilt. At one point Kevin took the kids and left the house...I think he was afraid. I was perhaps not the best person to be around at that moment. I did finish it... it looked awful. She loved it! When I gave it to her I mentioned that the saying "sewn with love" couldn't apply, there was no love involved in the assembly, I apologized for the not nice things I muttered as i sewed, she forgave me, and to this day still uses the quilt. Move forward a year and there I am again this time it's Josh's quilt, no I haven't fine tuned my skills...(can one tweak skills that one doesn't possess?) this time is was equally torturous, and painful. Actually physically painful, sewing your finger with a needle on your sewing machine hurts, and will cause you to say some very unkind words. I did finish his quilt in time for graduation, no feeling of pride just relief that one more quilt was done. Josh was naturally excited by his quilt. Once again the goal was met, a memory of his life growing up, pieces of his childhood, so many stories, (it really does sound good in theory doesn't it?) and once again it looked dreadful, seriously crooked and mismatched. So here it is a few months before Cassandra's graduation and the thought of sewing that quilt has been hanging over my head since January..sigh I'm sorry to admit that I have been avoiding it, much like an ostrich with it's head in the sand. Completely blocking it, except for the little voice saying "you need to do this, the child will have issues if you did for two and not her." sigh I am a master at guilting myself" So Saturday was the day...no it wasn't any easier, I believe I simply don't want to have this skill, so therefore the passion or desire is just not there. At one point I wondered how well duct tape would work...no I didn't use it, but really I did strongly consider it. It is sewn...it is just like the other two, crooked, and mismatched,(at least I'm consistent) and no I didn't sew love into it...trust me I was just happy no body pieces were included. Yes I did create some words that would be best to not be mentioned...sigh that seems to be the only thing I was good at. and to Cassandra it was perfect. Watching her reaction, just as I watched Beckie and Josh's almost made the whole ordeal worth it, almost! Listening to her recall "I remember that shirt" "Remember when I wore that dress" "I loved those pants" As I watched her explore and remember I realized it doesn't matter if it's perfect, what matters is she will have something to take with her next fall as she begins the next part of her journey, something that will remind her of the stories and memories. Something that will remind her that her family loves her, that I love her. Ok and just for the record I am still celebrating the fact that it is done, and that I will never ever, ever, have to sew another quilt. I am done...and that is a wonderful thing!!!